Renovation
by Jeschura
Summary: “I’m just afraid of the consequences! He forced me to renovate the clinic with him a few years ago! The result was awful. He was in intensive care for four days and I was concussed and had a broken arm!”
1. Chapter 1

Please be nice! I'm no native speaker. Sorry for all mistakes that might follow! This story is posted in German under the name "Heimwerkerarbeiten". Everybody who is able to understand German should read it. It's far better than this translation, because there are many problems with phrases and figures of speech. But I thought my English needed a fresh up.

Warnings: Post Soul Society Arc Spoilers! Nothing Big. But just in case…

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Just a very bad English!

I had the Idea for this story during my parent's bedroom-renovation. It was – to put it mildly – chaotic. But the chaos I have is nothing compared to the Chaos in our beloved shinigami representative's live!

**Renovation**

Chapter 1

"OH NO! Just forget it! No Chance! Do this crap by yourself!"

"ICHIGO!"

I said NO! N - O! And NO means NO!"

"You are going to help!"

"NO!!!"

"YES!"

"NO; NO; NO!"

"YES; YES; YES!"

"You are deaf, you old fart, aren't you?" fist met nose. "You have to do it on your own, no chance I help you! I'm not interested in your strange ideas! Go get a painter to do it, so it will be done right!" He turned an walked trough the door, but a foot hit him at his back, and he found himself lying on the floor.

"ICHIGO! Do you have an idea how expensive a painter is??? DO YOU THINK I'M A CASH COW?"

Ichigo got to his feet and kicked his father in the stomach while murmuring "Maybe not a cow but a baboon…" He turned again to the door just to knock over Rukia who came from his sister's room. She tumbled but Ichigo could grab her arm.

"Sorry Ru- er, I mean Kuchiki-san."

"What's going on? Why are you yelling that loud?"

"Old man has one of this days again… He has the weird plan to renovate the clinic… namely by him and me! As if he could do…"

"Can I help you?" Rukia asked. With shock he released her arm causing her fall down on the floor. "Ouch! Bakamono, why do you…"

"IIIIICHIIIIIGOOOOO! How do you dare!" His father shouted out angrily from behind. "Rukia-chan! Are you hurt? Never fear, I will…"

"Oh no, Kurosaki-san, everything is OK!" Rukia said in her fake "little innocent schoolgirl"-voice. Ichigo sighed. How much he hated this fuss! It was so anti-Rukia, he couldn't stand it. He pulled Rukia up in a standing position. "Don't make such a fuss!" he blurt out.

Rukia looked at his father with puppy dog eyes. "Kurosaki-san, I would really like to help you with the renovation, in return for the kindness you bestow on me, for letting me live in your house…"

Ichigo almost threw up the dinner while thinking if it was better to strangle Rukia or to drown her. But his father flinging his arms around Rukias neck crying "Rukia-chan! My third daughter! So thoughtful and helpful!" blocked all possible actions.

That was the last straw! Ichigo pulled away his father from Rukia also to save her from suffocating – if somebody was up to kill Rukia it was still HIM – and screamed "Nobody is going to help anybody with renovating! At least not you, Ru- Kuchiki-san!" He wouldn't imagine what would be happening if Rukia was let alone with brushes, paint and empty walls. Her drawing abilities were known well enough!

Rukia completely ignored him and looked at Isshin. "Kurosaki-san, I am pleased if I can help you." She bowed.

Isshin ran to the Masaki-memorial-poster and cried out: "Masaki, love of my life! Our third daughter! An angel came down to earth in return for our son who turned out badly…"

That was enough! Ichigo dragged Rukia upstairs into his room and closed the door. He turned around glaring at Rukia who was sitting on the edge of his bed. "RUKIA!" His eyebrows were almost at the tip of his nose. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I just want to help." Rukia threw an angry look at him. "What's so bad about renovating the clinic? Why do you make such a fuss?"

"I'm just afraid of the consequences! He forced me to renovate the clinic with him a few years ago! The result was awful. He was in intensive care for four days and I was concussed and had a broken arm!"

"Oh Ichigo, don't overact."

"I DON'T OVERACT! This guy has no talent for do it yourself! It's perilous giving him tools or something else."

"Ichigo…"

"NO!" he took a deep breath. "NO CHANCE! I'M NOT GOING TO HELP AND YOU NEITHER!"

----------------------------

That's it! Chapter 1 translated. The German version is a oneshot! I think I will divide it into three, it hard to translate.

Nee-san, you have bleached my world! (nicht umbringen! Don't kill me!)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ichigo couldn't take it. How did this happen? It was awful. Terrible. Scary. It was a disaster. There he was, wearing his oldest pair of jeans, also a t-shirt that was to tight and a newspaper-hat! Beside him Yuzu and Karin in a similar outfit. And Rukia. Rukia, who was so excited she wasn't able to keep still. His father Isshin stood in front of them like a general, giving each of them a paint roller and arranging the duties. "Yuzu, you paint the foyer! Karin, you do the storage rooms. After that you both renovate the surgeries. Ichigo and Rukia-chan, you paint the patient's bedrooms!" Great! He and Rukia? It was obvious why Isshin had made this choice. Ichigo sighed. Maybe he was able to avoid the worst.

"And you? What are you doing?" Karin asked.

"I'm the supervisor and will help you with all my knowledge!" Isshin puffed himself up. "And now: Ready, take your brushes, go!"

-----------------------------

Ichigo cursed. "Rukia, you…" But she didn't listen to him. They stood in one of the bedrooms and Rukia tried to decide which colour was the best. His father had decided that plain white wasn't good enough, 'cause it was too sterile – at least for the bedrooms. Normally Ichigo would have agreed with him. But today nothing was normal! NOT if both Rukia and his father had painting tools in their hands. He frowned, took a deep breath and shouted: "RUKIA!"

"What's up, Baka? Why are you yelling? My ears are working properly."

"I don't think so. You are ignoring me since a whole quarter of an hour."

"And what do you want from me?"

"Just to make it clear, Rukia. We paint this room as fast as possible. No experimentation. No pictures. NO CHAPPIES!!!"

"Bakamono!"

"Shut up. There are three colours to choose from – light yellow, light orange and light green. And white to paint the ceiling.

"I know."

"Just one colour each room."

"OK, OK."

"You do the walls, me the ceiling. No Chance you dwarf reach it." Rukias fist hit his jaw.

"Who do you call a dwarf, you – you – you big lump!"

"Rukiaaa…" Ichigo caressed his hurting jaw. Something cracked loud, he was sure. "Rukia, I wanted to ride this renovation-thing out and AVOID injuries…"

"So don't insult me. Injuries caused by improper comments are your own fault."

"Baka!" A thought crossed his mind. She was from soul society. She had lived in her noble brother's mansion. Did she have…? "Rukia, have you ever renovated?" He frowned.

"Of course not. When should this had happened?" Rukia frowned on her part and looked angrily. "Any Problems with that?"

Yes. YES. YEEES! He had a big problem with that. "No, I was just curious." He was worried. Rukia – did – not – know – how – to – paint! And he should explain it to her! And kept her from doing weird things with the paint at the same time! Ichigo felt like somebody pulled the rug out from under him! A horror vision of a destroyed clinic crossed his mind, the debris painted with white Chappy-faces.

"Come on, I show you what to do."

"What's difficult about painting some walls?"

"It's difficult to apply the colour evenly!"

"I see." Rukia looked doubtfully.

"Listen, first of all you paint the corners with the brush. Meanwhile I paint the ceiling."

"OK."

---------------------------

For almost an whole hour there was nothing to hear except the sound of brush and roller. Ichigo was surprised. Rukia didn't act the fool that much. All corners were painted properly. She didn't make a mess and asked no stupid questions. The ceiling was also painted, but now there was the part he dreaded. He took a last deep breath and gave a paint roller to Rukia. "There you are!"

"Than…"

A terrible noise came from the foyer followed by Yuzu's scream. "Otoo-san! Everything OK?"

Rukia and Ichigo run to the foyer. When they arrived Ichigo couldn't stand it. Actually he never laughed – but now he couldn't help but laugh! He laughed – he laughed so hard he cried. Even Rukia giggled in the background. The sight was too funny. His father laid in the foyer of his own clinic, a paint bucket over his head and coated with bright white colour. A ladder lay above him, his right hand holding the brush stretched in a weird pose. Yuzu was next to him looking like she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. Ichigo tried to calm down, but it didn't work. When Isshin tried to get up but then slipped again because of the paint covered floor, Ichigo needed to support himself on the door frame. He noticed Rukia trying to hide behind him so that nobody could see her face which was able to shame Renji's hair. It seemed that she couldn't brace herself any longer. Suddenly there was an irritated voice. "What's going…?" followed by silence. "OK, I'm gone." Karin walked back into the room she was working in and closed the door. Yuzu gave Isshin a leg up and took the bucket from his head. "Come with me, Otoo-san, we have to clean you up a little bit." She dragged the half-blind Isshin to the bathroom.

Ichigo calmed down and looked down at Rukia. Her face wasn't red any longer. "Come on, we have a lot to do. It will take three weeks if we don't hurry. Didn't I tell you my father has no talent to renovate?"

"OK, OK, you were right. But it was nice to see you… forget it." Rukia turned away and walked straight into the bedroom they were working in. Ichigo followed her and frowned.

"To see me WHAT?"

Rukias blushed and mumbled "It was nice to see you laugh. You have never laughed since we met. Not so… genuine and free." She took the roller. "Show me what to do."

Ichigo shook his head and threw a puzzled look an Rukia. "Baka…"

------------------------------

A/N: Ok, that's chapter 2! Tell me, why I'm translating this story? Oh yeah, I have to improve my English. But it's difficult. If anybody wants to help me with phrases, I'm happy for any help. BUT FIRST I HAVE TO BUY A BETTER ENGLISH-DICTIONARY!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Gomen for last chapter. Seems Ichigo is pretty OOC in the laughing scene. But he deserves to laugh, doesn't he? This poor guy have the weight of the world on his shoulders to say it with Rukia's words. (Don't know where but I'm pretty sure she had said it in manga or anime.)

Chapter 3

Ichigo took the remaining roller and began painting the first wall. Ichigo couldn't help, he smirked while watching Rukia. She was highly concentrated and her tongue poked out a little bit. "Don't swallow paint. Close your mouth while working."

"Keep quiet! You better watch the wall!" She shot a death glare at him. The roller she was holding trembled. "Don't make fun of me all the time!"

"Well, I think I have too, considering your drawing abilities. I wonder how you know how to use the roller. I thought you would put the paint on the handle…"

BOOM

Ichigo was blind. Ichigo was orange. Ichigo was fuming. Rukia had hit the roller she dunked immediately straight into his face. The orange colour mixed with some blood flowing out of his nose. Ichigo growled whipping the colour out of his eyes, then he grabbed a brush and struck it against Rukia like it was Zangetsu. Rukia jumped quickly out of range, raised the roller and attacked again. This time his chest was covered with orange paint. That sought bloody revenge! His left hand was unarmed, so he grabbed another roller and tried to hit the beast also know as Kuchiki Rukia. Stupidly he was still half blind caused by the paint in his face. Rukia escaped without any difficulties racing across the room. She laughed. Ichigo couldn't believe it. SHE WAS LAUGHING AT HIM! He tried to catch Rukia but tripped over some sheets they used to cover the floor. Some orange colour splashed on his head. Next what he saw was Rukia leaning against the wall roaring with laughter. He jumped up, grabbed Rukia by her shoulders trying to cover her with paint. She squealed and was still laughing. He didn't let her go.

"Do you surrender?"

Rukia had a hard time answering while laughing. "Y-Yes, I s-surrender." After that she was shaken by a new attack of laughter. Ichigo growled again.

"What the hell is so funny?"

Rukia laughed and laughed. "The… the colour… the colour – ahahaha – in… in your hair…" Rukia snort with laughter. " The c-colour in your h-hair is almost invisible. It's nearly the same sh-shade!" She dropped against the wall and bursted out laughing once more.

"You…" Ichigo was fuming. Revenge was sweet! He caught Rukia and tickled her. She struggled to get away squealing and laughing and screaming but Ichigo was too strong. When he let her go she fell onto the floor panting and finally stopped laughing. "Ouch!"

"Serves you right! Making fun of me…" than he tripped over a brush – landing straight on Rukia. Tiny fists were beating against his shoulders.

"Ichigo! Get off. You're damn heavy! ICHIGO!"

"Rukia, stop it! It hurts!" Ichigo saw her blushing furiously and became aware of their embarrassing position. He jumped up quickly. He pulled Rukia up and cleared his throat. "Let's continue."

Rukia just nodded and took her roller again. The next hour passed by in deep silence.

------------------------------

Four days later it was over. Ichigo sighed. The clinic was finally renovated and he got away without major injuries. He and Rukia fought no other battles with paint, Yuzu and Karin had done their job without any difficulties. Now he sad at the kitchen table next to Rukia, both exhausted to death. Rukia's head laid on her arms, she seemed to be asleep. He shook his head. It was her own fault, why did she wanted to help so badly?

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" a voice called from the living room. "Ichigo! Get your hands of my beloved third daughter and bring me a glass of water.

Ichigo blushed as red as a tomato and ran into the living room. "You damn old pervert! As if I do something like that with Ruk…"

"CAUGHT YOU! You called Rukia-chan by her first name. I KNEW IT! YOUNG LOVE! MASA…" He was interrupted by a foot stamped into his face. "Ichigo! How can you be so cruel to your own father? An where is my water?"

"Get it yourself!" Ichigo said leaving the room. He returned to the kitchen sitting down again. "AND HOW SHALL I GET UP WITH A BROKEN LEG?" He heard Isshin shouting from the living room. Ichigo sighed and buried the head in his hands. Why just a broken leg? Couldn't it be a coma? Then he would have been quiet at least.

-------------------------

A/N: It's finished! I don't know if I ever write a story in English again. I'll see. My brain hurts, just reading English isn't enough obviously. I thought after reading around 500 English fanfics it wouldn't be that difficult. Seems that I was mistaken. I apologize for all mistakes I have made.

I hope you enjoyed it a little bit. I love Rukia and Ichigo bickering around. And yes, I had to renovate MANY rooms in my life so far. We moved a lot, I've counted 9 times. And my mother is quite fussy (I don't know the right term, in German it's "pingelig") about painting the corners.

See you! Jeschura


End file.
